Re-evaluating Summer Co-Parenting Schedules - Giving Voice to Your Child

Summer is often seen as a time of freedom and relaxation, a break from the rigid schedules of the school year. For separated parents who are co-parenting, it can present a unique set of challenges.

Especially adolescents, who have their own individual voice that needs to be respected. I often find parents during summer arguing about the time they want to spend with the kids, not hearing what their needs and wants are. This creates a toxic environment, not just for the adolescent but for the whole family.

As co-parents navigate these challenges, it's essential to re-evaluate summer parenting schedules with a focus on giving children a voice in the planning process. By doing so, co-parents can foster a sense of independence, responsibility, and satisfaction in their children, while maintaining harmony and consistency between both homes.

The Importance of Child-Centered Scheduling in Co-Parenting

Children, like adults, have preferences, interests, and ideas about how they want to spend their time. By involving them in the decision-making process, co-parents can create a summer schedule that not only meets practical needs but also aligns with their child's aspirations and desires. This approach promotes a sense of ownership and empowerment in children, which can enhance their overall well-being and happiness.

1. Fostering Communication and Collaboration: Open dialogue is the cornerstone of effective scheduling. Co-parents should engage in discussions with their children about their interests and preferences for summer activities. These conversations can help parents understand what excites and motivates their children, leading to more meaningful and enjoyable experiences. Moreover, it teaches children the value of expressing their opinions and negotiating compromises.
2. Encouraging Responsibility and Independence: When children are given a say in their summer schedules, they learn to take responsibility for their choices. This responsibility can extend to helping plan daily activities, organizing their time, and even participating in household chores. Such involvement prepares them for greater independence in the future and instills essential life skills.
3. Balancing Structure and Flexibility: While it's important to have a structured plan to ensure that children stay engaged and parents can manage their responsibilities, flexibility is equally crucial. A rigid schedule can feel oppressive, whereas too much freedom can lead to boredom or a sense of aimlessness. By striking a balance, co-parents can provide a framework that allows for both planned activities and spontaneous fun.
4. Integrating Educational and Recreational Activities: Summer can be an ideal time to explore new hobbies, develop skills, and engage in educational pursuits outside the traditional classroom setting. Co-parents should consider incorporating a mix of educational activities, such as reading programs or science projects, with recreational ones like sports, arts and crafts, or family outings. Children can help choose these activities, ensuring they are both fun and enriching.

Practical Steps for Re-evaluating Co-Parenting Schedules

To successfully re-evaluate and implement a child-centered summer schedule, co-parents can follow these practical steps:

1. Hold a Co-Parenting Meeting: Set aside time for a co-parenting meeting where both parents and the children can share their ideas and preferences. Encourage each child to speak about what they would like to do over the summer. This meeting should be a safe space where all suggestions are considered. If there is tension between the co-parents, seeking help from a family mediator can facilitate a constructive and neutral environment. A mediator can help manage conflicts, ensure that both parents’ voices are heard, and guide the discussion towards a mutually agreeable schedule.
2. Create a Joint Vision Board: Visual aids like a vision board can help children articulate their desires and see how their ideas fit into the larger plan. Use a bulletin board or a large piece of paper to pin pictures, drawings, or notes representing different activities. Make sure this vision board is accessible to both households.
3. Develop a Coordinated Weekly Plan: Once the family has a clear understanding of everyone's interests, create a weekly plan that includes a variety of activities. Ensure there is a good mix of structured and free time, and be sure to include downtime for relaxation. Coordination between households is crucial to maintain consistency for the children.
4. Set Goals and Milestones: Work with your child to set achievable goals for the summer. These could be related to learning a new skill, completing a project, or simply trying something new. Celebrate milestones to keep motivation high. Ensure both parents are informed and involved in recognizing these achievements.
5. Evaluate and Adjust Together: Regularly check in with your children to see how they feel about the schedule. Be open to making adjustments based on their feedback. Flexibility is key to maintaining a positive and enjoyable summer experience. Co-parents should communicate regularly to ensure any necessary adjustments are made collaboratively.

Conclusion

Re-evaluating summer co-parenting schedules to give children a voice is not just about keeping them busy; it's about creating a summer that is enriching, enjoyable, and empowering. By involving children in the planning process, co-parents can foster a sense of responsibility and independence while ensuring that summer is a time of growth and happiness. Through communication, collaboration, and a balance of structure and flexibility, co-parents can create a summer schedule that meets everyone's needs and leaves lasting, positive memories. Additionally, seeking professional help from a family mediator can be invaluable in facilitating discussions and resolving conflicts, ensuring that the summer schedule is fair and satisfactory for all parties involved.

Authored By:

Rose Morsh
RECE, Parenting Practitioner,
Family Mediator & Child Voice Practitioner