Divorce Explained: What Can Mediators Do That Divorce Lawyers Cannot?

Separation is one of the most challenging transitions for a family. This is a time when couples grieve, and children feel the drift and change. You can see children grieve through bigger emotions, whining, crying, and displaying more anger.

As a family mediator, parent coordinator, and educator, this is an issue I observe in my daily life. It saddens me when I see couples, whether common-law or married, argue over small matters and use their children as messengers in between. The effects of these actions are often seen in the classroom. It might be hard to believe, but I have witnessed it from a 22-month-old toddler who is already showing signs of grief and loss.

Research has shown that childhood experiences and attachment affect children’s perceptions in their adult relationships. Certain matters in life may need to be litigated, but family and children should not be subjects of the court system and litigation. As adults, we must prioritize our children's needs over our own

Therefore, when it comes to marriage and common-law relationships, I strongly favor mediating agreements rather than litigating. This helps the family move forward and benefits the children.

The Role of Divorce Lawyers

Divorce lawyers specialize in family law. They give legal advice, represent clients in court, and fight for their client's best interests, often from a one-sided perspective.

The Role of Mediators

Mediators are neutral third parties trained to help couples communicate and negotiate. They don’t represent either spouse but work with both to reach an agreement that works for everyone. This approach allows couples to move forward without anger and frustration, focusing on everyone's best interests, especially the children.

Here’s what mediators do well:

Promoting Open Communication

Mediators create a safe space for open and honest communication. This helps reduce misunderstandings and encourages cooperation, often lost in legal battles.

Encouraging Cooperation and Compromise

Mediators help couples find solutions that benefit both parties. This teamwork approach is especially helpful when children are involved, setting a good example for future co-parenting.

Cost-Effective Solution

Mediation is usually less expensive than going to court. By focusing on negotiation, mediation can save couples a lot of money in legal fees and court costs.

Faster Resolution

Mediation often leads to quicker results than traditional divorce litigation. This means couples can move on with their lives sooner.

Confidentiality and Privacy

Mediation is a private process. Unlike court cases, which are public, mediation sessions are confidential. This privacy allows couples to discuss sensitive issues openly.

Personalized Solutions

Mediators help couples create agreements that fit their unique situations. This flexibility allows for more creative and tailored solutions than a court might provide.

When to Choose Mediation

While mediation has many benefits, it’s not right for every situation. Cases involving domestic violence, significant power imbalances, or uncooperative parties may need the expertise and protection of a divorce lawyer. However, for many couples willing to work together, mediation offers a less confrontational, more affordable, and faster path to a fair and amicable divorce.

Conclusion

Divorce is challenging, but the chosen approach can make a big difference. Mediators bring unique skills and benefits, focusing on cooperation, cost-effectiveness, speed, privacy, and personalized solutions. While divorce lawyers are essential for protecting legal rights, mediators provide an alternative that can make the process less hostile and more collaborative. Couples going through divorce should consider mediation as a helpful way to reach a beneficial agreement.

If you're considering divorce and want a less confrontational, more cost-effective approach, we can help. Contact us today to learn how we can assist you in reaching a fair resolution that benefits all parties involved.

Authored By:

Rose Morsh
RECE, Parenting Practitioner,
Family Mediator & Child Voice Practitioner