Adolescent Mental Health: How to Help Teenagers Find & Love Themselves

What is self love? Self love is respecting yourself, it is accepting yourself, it is choosing to be kind to yourself even when you don’t feel like it. Self love is putting yourself first, self love is saying no when everyone wants you to say yes. Self love is caring for yourself, choosing yourself and being there for yourself. It is crucial to teach self love to adolescents and teenagers as it is fundamental to their development.

If adolescents don’t learn how to love themselves they are susceptible to developing low self esteem, depression, low self worth, body image issues, burn out, unhappiness etc. Self love is even more important when it comes to mental health.

If one is struggling with their mental health it can be harder for them to love themselves. They may feel ashamed and unworthy of love because they think something is wrong with them. Those affected my mental illness may feel isolated as feel as though they are not deserving of love, therefore it is extremely important to teach our teens and adolescents how to show themselves love especially when they are experiencing mental health challenges.

How do we teach adolescents self love?

1. Journal Practices - write down 10 reasons why you are deserving of love, write down 10 ways you can show yourself love this week, list your favourite qualities about yourself, write down 5 things you did for yourself today that you truly appreciated
   
   
2. Teach them to prioritize themselves - help them create an everyday routine that involves putting themselves first .. set aside time for self care .. just as much as you set aside time for homework
   
   
3. Respect your adolescent - the more you love and respect your adolescent the more they will feel deserving of it and love/respect themselves
   
   
4. Lead by example - the more you prioritize yourself and love yourself the more your adolescent will see it as important too

What are the challenges they/you may face along the way?

• They may not see it as important.
• They may not believe they are deserving of love.
• They may seek validation from social media or their peers instead of themselves.
• They may feel uncomfortable and have a hard time committing to it

Why is it so hard for adolescents to love themselves and what can we do to help?

Self love isn't usually taught from a young age therefore it’s not usually natural for us to rely on ourselves for approval/love. We easily are taught to seek approval/love from our caregivers, from our teachers, from our friends, from our role models etc. Yet we aren’t taught to seek approval and love from ourselves. Thus the topic is new for a lot of adolescents. It can be uncomfortable and take time for it to make sense. Anything new is uncomfortable to learn and adjust to, but it doesn't mean it’s not important. For someone struggling with their mental health, self love can be even harder to implement due to the stigmas attached to it. It can be difficult to see past the stigma and to love yourself instead of feeling ashamed of yourself.

What we can do to help with these challenges is we can make self love fun for our adolescents.The more we force our adolescent’s to do something .. the more it feels like work and they won’t want to do it. Allow them to take ownership over it, allow them to have fun with it. Self care should be fun so let them choose the activity they’d like to do to take care of themselves. For example: let them choose the journal exercises they’d like to do, let them choose the time they’d like to spend with themselves, encourage them to find a youtuber that talks positively about mental health or a show that promotes mental health. Get your adolescent in environments where mental health is talked about positively and openly so they can learn to not feel ashamed of it.

The more you can show your adolescent that their mental illness is accepted, understood and supported the more they will feel loving instead of ashamed of it. Lastly, lead by example .. This is the most powerful way you can help your adolescent. By loving and prioritizing yourself you are showing your adolescent it is important to love themself. Adolescents don’t like to admit it .. but they look up to their parents for advice, for solutions. Thus, the more you lead by example .. the more your adolescent will follow. Therefore the more you start valuing self love .. the more they will too.