It Really Does Take a Village: My personal experience parenting through a pandemic

Get woken up by a sleepy voice saying ‘Mommy, mommy, mommy’ (why do they never say Daddy???), make breakfast for the kids, turn on a show for the kids and then sit in front of my cup of coffee wondering “What am I going to do to survive today?”... all to do it again the next day.

Even through social isolation, I know I am not alone! We all have our own stories, experiences, challenges and wins! Even though I could write page after page about all of the troubles and challenges I faced since March, I have decided to share some of my top tips for not only surviving, but doing my best to thrive through this very difficult time.

Tip #1 – Let Go!

As a parent, we have never experienced anything quite like this. I remember when the announcement came out that schools would be closed for 3 weeks. My only thought was “What am I going to do??’! The thought of having my daughters’ home for three weeks straight without the ability to go to a park, indoor playground or even a mall seemed overwhelmingly daunting. My mind immediately went into a state of shock. But, in the first few week I learned to let go!

• Let go of all the ‘I should be doing this or that’.
• Let go of your expectations.
• Let go of your worries that your kids are not learning enough.
• Let go of the thought that your kids will be damaged by having too much screen time.

When you can allow yourself to let go of your previous expectations and remind yourself that this is just one moment in history, you will be able to be more present in the moment and deal with things as they come.

Tip #2 – Have a Fluid Schedule

Allow room for change in your schedule. A schedule does not mean that you have tohave every minute of the day planned, but it is still important to stick to some sort of a routine.

Set a realistic, manageable schedule. Instead of looking at large time blocks, organize the day into short, manageable chunks.

Don’t worry about the start and stop times on the clock, but try to follow the flow of events.

Try to think of what activities your child would be doing if they were in daycare/school and try to organize your day in a similar fashion.

Work the day around your work schedule. If you know you have an important meeting at 11 am, make that a time when the kids will be doing an independent activity or screen time. Don’t worry about the increase in screen time. You don’t need that added stress to your already stressful day!

Tip #3 – Give Yourself a Break

Self-care is so essential, especially during stressful times. As moms, we are always putting other’s needs in front of our own. But, what about our needs. In order to make it through this crazy time without going crazy – Give yourself a break. Take care of yourself. You may not be off to the spa, but buy yourself a new nail polish colour, bath bomb or even an electric toothbrush! What ever you need to do for yourself to feel some sense of relief, make it a priority.

I like to use the analogy of a volcano. As a mom, we are the volcano. Every time we add something to our to do list without taking a break the lava in our volcano builds.We can continue like this for some time, everyone’s volcano is a different size, but the one thing that is consistent it that eventually everyone’s volcano will eventually erupt if we don’t take time to cool off – literally.

If you don’t take care of yourself, it will be nearly impossible to take care of others!Take a break from the news and social media. Many of us a negatively affected by constantly hearing about the daily pandemic stats without even realizing it. Stay away from online chatter if you are feeling worse after scrolling through your news feed. Block certain people or phrases that trigger your anxiety.

A break can be anything from 10 deep breaths to a 15 min walk outside. Find what works for you and make it a priority by scheduling it in your ‘fluid calendar’!

Tip #4 – Find Your Village

It’s okay to ask for help. It’s okay to ask for help. It’s okay to ask for help!

The biggest lesson I learned from parenting during a crisis has been, not only that it’s okay to ask for help, but help comes in many different forms. Getting help does not mean that you are weak or can’t handle being a parent. If you have a partner, ask them to help with meal planning or to watch the kids while you take your break (tip #3). Talk to your girlfriends, but try to keep the conversation positive! Seek help from a therapist if you are feeling down and don’t know where else to turn.

And just like anything else, there is no magic pill. There isn’t just going to be one thing that helps you during a stressful time. A village consists of many different people who can offer you different levels of support.

Final Comments

I am a certified Health Coach and a mom of two young girls. I remember when I wasa first-time mom and I would hear other moms with older kids talk about their experiences and tips. I found it so helpful to know that I was not the only one getting woken up every 2 hours, having my nipples bitten until they were bleeding or getting thrown up on! Now, I love meeting other new moms and being their source of support, encouragement or even just a listening ear. I am hosting a series of workshops and meet ups with other parents and experts in the field. Make sure to check them out: www.inventivekidz.com/events