Love Yourself

Let's start with some brain science on how to love ourselves and the importance of self-care to be present in our children's development. I believe there are many different types of families. Some of us are single, or co-parents, or have our in-laws or parents involved with daily parenting support, while some are in marital or partner relationships. 

The brain has different sections, including a lower brain and an upper brain. The lower mind is where the "fight or flight" response comes from, and it's where we spontaneously react at the moment. The upper brain is the creative, problem-solving part that offers more productive answers.

Fight or Flight?

When we enter the world of parenthood, our style might be "fight" or "flight," too, especially if we are feeling anxious, exhausted, sad or depressed. Who hasn't felt these emotions, thoughts and urges? These factors can change our mental health and outlook, just as it may for your partner or children. 

To change your outlook and improve your communication and style, we need to train using our upper brain. This change doesn't take place overnight; it requires daily discipline and sometimes the support of a parenting practitioner to help you learn how to balance emotions with family life.

To be able to do that, we need to love ourselves. I always say it's the same as the way you care for a plant. The same attention to detail is required when it comes to our mental health. You have to take care of your mental health to be present for your child's development. This allows you to make rational decisions and use calmer tones and methods when unpleasant behaviour occurs.

So how do we love ourselves? 

How do we find time to take care of our mental health? This requires discipline and having realistic expectations.

Here are some tips to start developing self-love, or as I call it, watering the soul. 

1. Make a wish list. Write one or two personal goals you wish to achieve for yourself
2. Start the day with pure joy. Take a shower, apply makeup, or put on your favourite jeans. 
3. Do 15 minutes of meditation or yoga

After each of these practices, look at yourself in the mirror and love your reflection. Give yourself a smile and say an affirmation acknowledging that you are loved and capable. Slowly, as you continually ‘water’ your mental health, your outlook, energy and mood will all improve. 

Rose

This is a safe space for discussion. Your feelings are valid!

Rose Morsh is the founder of Inventive Minds Child, Youth and Family Support Centre Elementary Private School and Youth Mentorship Program. Her passion is building positive family relationships, especially between parents and their children. 

She becomes an extension of the families in her care as they navigate parenthood from expectancy to the adolescence and teenage years. Having worked with thousands of families over her 20 year career as a Positive Parenting practitioner and early childhood educator, she draws from personal challenges as a parent to help families overcome obstacles to thrive.