Managing Nightmares and Night Terrors

Sleep is the primary activity of the brain during early development. The rhythm of sleep begins to develop at about six weeks. By three to six months, most infants have a regular sleep cycle. By the age of two, most children have spent more time asleep than awake. Sleep is especially essential for children as it directly impacts mental and physical development.

What are nightmares?

As children physically grow, cognitively, many other areas of their brains become more active and creative. Sometimes children have nightmares and night terrors.

Nightmares are dreams that generally occur towards morning. Children often wake after a nightmare feeling scared and upset. Nightmares can occur over upsetting events during the previous day or for no apparent reasons. Usually, if there are changes in the home environment or routine, you will experience more changes in sleep routines and nightmares.

Nightmares are most common in children between 2 and 5 years of age. Over one-third of preschoolers have a nightmare at least once every 2 weeks. After waking from a nightmare, children often settle as soon as a parent appears. 

Children may have the same nightmare over and over if they are going through routine changes or are experiencing detachment. (For example: starting child care or a new environment) During the day, talk to your child about what is worrying them. If you are unable to work through the problem with your child, it is recommended to seek professional help.

What are Night Terrors?

Night terrors are more common than nightmares. They usually happen in the first few hours after falling asleep, during deep, non-dreaming sleep. Night terrors occur after a child has had a high fever or after a busy or stressful day. They mostly occur in older toddlers.

During night terrors, children may struggle or push away anyone trying to hold them. Night terrors are usually over quickly but can last up to 20 minutes. It is difficult to wake a child during a night terror. When they wake in the morning, children do not remember having night terrors. 

Night terrors may involve:

• Loud , panic-stricken screaming
• Out of control thrashing of arms and legs
• Rapid heartbeat
• Sweating
• A glassy stare

This can be very frightening for parents to watch. Although night terrors are not common, it’s good for parents to know what night terrors are so they do not worry about finding their child in this state. It is crucial to tell the difference between night terror and nightmares as they are managed differently. If a child has more than one episode of night terrors within 4 months, seek professional help.

How to help your child settle at bedtime:

• Help your child feel safe
• Develop a bedtime routine

How to Manage Nightmares:

Reassure your child

• If your child is awake and frightened, let them know they are safe. Be supportive and hold them and comfort them.
• Express that things that happen in nightmares cannot really hurt.

Listen to your child

• Sometimes, when children are awake after a nightmare, they want to talk about their dreams or fears. If so, calmly listen to your child and do not look worried.

Help your child relax

• You can show them how to relax by taking some deep breaths. Sing a quiet song for them to fall asleep.

Leave a light on

• If you leave a night light on, your child can quickly work out where they are when they wake from a nightmare.

It is important to avoid sleeping with your child when they are up from a nightmare. This can become more issues for sleep patterns as the behaviour continues.

How To Manage Night Terrors

Let your child sleep

• While your child is having night terrors, they are in a deep sleep. Do not try to wake them as this will only frighten your child. Children will generally settle without waking after night terrors. Stay close and only offer comfort if your child asks for help.

Points to remember

• It will help your child to settle if you remain calm. To encourage good sleeping habits, praise your child for sleeping through the night and staying calm after waking.

Night terrors and nightmares are more common when there are stressors at home. Examples include parental conflict or changes in routine. 

Every child and every family is different and unique. A technique that works for one family may not work for another. If you are worried, approach a parenting practitioner to help. 

Rose Morsh

Rose Morsh is the founder of Inventive Minds Child, Youth and Family Support Centre Elementary Private School and Youth Mentorship Program. Her passion is building positive family relationships, especially between parents and their children. 

 She becomes an extension of the families in her care as they navigate parenthood from expectancy to the adolescence and teenage years. Having worked with thousands of families over her 20 year career as a Positive Parenting practitioner and early childhood educator, she draws from personal challenges as a parent to help families overcome obstacles to thrive.